No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i will never coherently bang her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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