i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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