Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
