I just threw up on my dentist
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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