i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
