Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
