I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
