Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
