Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You are the jesus of drinking
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
