i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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