so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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