So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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