If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
