he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
