I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
