i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize