we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
