No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
