she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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