dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
