do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
