I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
