I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
