dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
