I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
