Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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