toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
