Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
