Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
