i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
