Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
