Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
