i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
