Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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