There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
