I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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