areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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