i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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