I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
NoShamevember. You game?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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