Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
