dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
