Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
