Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
