I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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