home. puking in laundry basket.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize