Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
