well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
