I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
