i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
