If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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