AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
