I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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