im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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