he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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