put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
