Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
