I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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