everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
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So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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