Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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